This is Patapolis!

Having not played anything worth while on my PSP for well over a year, I was inspired by Tom Chick's adulation of Patapon 2 to pick up a copy. Luckily it was marked at £19.99 in GAME, however, they were having a sale on PSP games and it come in at a rather remarkable price of £9.99.

I was intrigued by the way it was claimed that the game married a 2d side scrolling Real Time Strategy game with a rhythmn action game. Before playing the game, I couldn't imagine how it worked. After an hour or so in the game, I can honestly say that "they've only gone and done it Rodney!". The Marriage is a success, so far!



As a person who chokes back a lump in his throat and a tear in his eye, when any rousing beat is played to marching armies.... having the ability to play "war drums" to command your small eyeball troops really does fuel your growing excitement in the game.

As you match the drum patterns with the 4/4 timer, pata-pata-pata-pon, your troops begin to gingerly move forward checking for danger ahead, pata-pata-pata-pon, they start to pick up the pace, until your third combo, pata-pata-pata-pon, has them blustering forward with gusto and momentum, singing proud and jubilant. You spy an advancing enemy coming in from the right of the screen. Its time to pound the drums of war! PON-PON-PATA-PON! Your troops taking up arms with grimaces on their eyeball faces they begin their attack, PON-PON-PATA-PON!, thrusting spear and sword, tossing javelin and axe, PON-PON-PATA-PON! again your drumbeat combo has them in a kill frenzy. The music and chanting, drumming and caterwauling from your troops, some of them leaping into the air with bloodlust is an envigorating sight to behold, I must confess.

The more you advance in the game, the more troops you can specialise, and tweak your army's content and formation. Recruiting new troops in, collecting resources as your march and hack and slash your way through each level. Pounding down walls, and raising towers and barracks with flame and poision, accompanied by the backbeat of your triumphant hammering on the Patapon drums. If you have an ounce of interest in conflict and rhythm, then you'll love this game. Tinkering with your troops, and mixing in your battlefield commands using tempo and timing, is a reward in itself. If you miss a beat, or drop the momentum, your troops will sigh and calm, and sluggishly lose their morale. So timing is everything. And I can almost guarentee that the beat of war will have you tapping your feet, nodding your head, and on some occasions have you positively dancing with elation.

The level of intensity the game presents to you, requires a lot of focus, but for brief sessions at a time, so you can safely participate in the game in bursts of pure enjoyment. Its not quite the battle of Thermophylae, but its marching to the beat of the Patapolis phalanx..

Untold Legends

I finally got my copy of Untold Legends, and it is good. You'll enjoy it if you like Baldurs Gate: Dark Alliance, or Champions of Norrath, or Dungeon Heroes style action RPG. It's an action button masher make no mistake. From my brief play, it seems to give you a lot of cool equipment up front, like weapons with specials and trinkets to enhance your armour, way before it feels like you should be earning those sort of things as loot. I mean I've got some modifier runes installed on the rough patchwork stuff I was given when I started the adventure at level 1! From the few bosses I have encountered it still seems like the game can present a challenge. But it just feels a little wrong to have a level 2 alchemist wander about with a glowing and shimmering double headed axe.

The classes seem a bit odd, Knight, Beserker, Druid and Alchemist. They all rely on melee a lot, even the Alchemist, with casting really only providing support damage to the melee. I guess in the single player game, then you're going to have to melee more often than not, simply because you have no-one to stand at the front and take the damage, whilst you waggle your fingers. Tried a Druid too, although again at these levels I'm guessing melee figures big in the only way to progress.

The graphics are excellent, and you can zoom close in for some hot boss action, or pull out to watch the horde fall. The play areas seem a little too small, but dungeons tend to consist of lots of these small rooms interconnected, with a boss at the end. Some story, enough to get you to the next quest boss.

The action is non stop, frenzied fun though. This is the definitive action RPG game your'e going to get on a handheld for a while, nearest thing you'll get to it though, is the Lord of the Rings diablo-fest on the GBA. And if you're comparing the two, theres no comparison.

If only my fat hands wouldn't ache so much using that bleeding analogue PSP thumbtack. Why they situated it at the bottom of the console, so that youre like pinching the handheld and twiddling your thumb in small circles is beyond me. I'd have much preferred it if they'd have swapped the d-pad with the thumbtack, since most of the games I have use the tack.